Tuesday, October 20, 2009

The Struggle

As I return to the real world, my heart is torn.
I am in the midst of a ragging war within my being-to be still versus to be in control.
The beach was one of the most restful times I think we have ever had with our boys.
A blessing that I do not want to take for granted.
However, the peace that was surrounding our unhurried pace does not seem to exist in day to day life.
At least not completely, but I think the peace can transcend the shores to our home.
I desire that peace to surround us. Always-even when we were supposed to be out the door five minutes ago...
I have a hunch that it has a lot to do with talking to Jesus all throughout the day. As in a conversation. To be raw with Him-blatantly honest. And mainly, yielded to the Potter. I am afraid that I am the clay that has to be spun around and around on that cool little machine because I keep wanting to jump off and make myself into a tray or something. Ahhhh, He has our good and His glory at heart.
He IS working for my good. I certainly don't deserve it. I stink at being a good little piece of clay. But, He is a skilled potter, the best and I am hopeful that my time on the spinning machine will produce something that makes my potter smile.

Tuesday, October 13, 2009

Thoughts from the shore

We are enjoying a delightful family vacation.

We needed a time of togetherness. We desperately needed a time devoted to family and fun. We are getting just that.

While we've been here, I have had some thoughts. Not many since it is vacation, but a few that I would like to share with you.

1. When I gaze at the horizon from the shore, I feel like I somehow meet God's eyes.

2. How in the world does all of this water, sand, people, etc. stay on a sphere? I know the answer is gravity, but allow your mind to wander away from the laws of Newton and all of those other really smart folks and seriously ponder it. No wonder our skin gets stretched out.

3. Boys need their daddy. Period. It makes them into men. I am extremely thankful for the husband Ben is to me and the daddy he is to our boys.

4. Mommas are good at herding. I have found that I have consulted Ben numerous times during this trip as to what normal is in a pack of boys. My new official title for myself is Boy Herder-you don't ask them to "come here," when you have multiple boys, you herd. There is simply no other way to put it.

5. The ocean forces me to think about my book. It helps me sort out ideas and the rhythm allows for lines to come.

6. I have found that pivotal surrenderings take place for me while the smallness of myself is mesmerized by the vastness of the sea.

7. I am reminded by God to fear not.

8. It is a gift from God to rest, not to hurry, and to just be...I hope that even if you are not at the ocean right now, you will this day, this minute allow yourself to rest, to just be and to fear not. We are somehow suspended on this little sphere orbiting in space with water that doesn't splash off. Trust me, He has it all under control, whatever it is.

Monday, October 5, 2009

Well, I am Here, Maybe

Howdy. I know you have been waiting on pins and needles anticipating my next appearance.
Well, so I don't feel terrible, my sweet baby David had a third birthday. I will do an entire post for him, but not tonight.
In fact, right now I am supposed to be sitting in the family room listening to the rain while I grade papers. However, I just couldn't bear the thought of NOT posting AGAIN! So for the sake of knowing I have documented something of the crazy wonderful life we lead-we are simply busy. Busy with wonderful things: field trips, projects for school, sight words, Star Wars(pretending), spelling tests, fall decorating, and just doing. However, I am trying to let go of that which does not HAVE to be done in order to enjoy the more mundane events of my day. When there is joy in the little things, I find there to be joy in one's life. When the mundane are bothersome, due to overload, one must step back and dust off the shelf of her life and do a bit of "fall cleaning."
I miss you all and the events of your day to day. You know what I mean, busy and trying to simplify. Check out the new Bible Study called, Becoming A Woman of Simplicity. It is a Cynthia Heald book and I bet you'll enjoy it too!